“I would just love it if you met a doctor or a lawyer.”

How many of you heard this growing up? I know I did. I’m actually still hearing it, now just a modified version.

“Why can’t you find yourself a nice Italian doctor or a lawyer?”

Um, because at this point, beggars can’t be choosers. And also because, I’m not quite sure I’m after the doctors and lawyers in Italy. It doesn’t quite work like that here.

If you’re from the States, you all know that one person who just loooves to gush over the fact that their daughter, grand daughter, niece, sister, friend, or they themselves have nabbed a doctor.

Cue the eye roll.

The adulation could very well be because doctors save lives, are intelligent and essentially do God’s work.

Right.

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Except that here in Italy, we have a glorious little thing called public healthcare. So those on a quest to spend your days doing yoga, getting your nails done and trophy wifing while your significant other brings home the bacon, you may want to reconsider. While these are still viable options, and you should of course be marrying for love and not money (I can feel a hundred eyes rolling), I’ve got some other professions that may have never even crossed your mind.

Interested to know who makes the list? Follow me…

Plumber: it’s a less than glamorous job, that’s for sure. But in Italy, plumbers make a killing. I should know. I feel like I’ve handed over many a hard earned Euro for them to tell me, yes, you need to fix this leaky pipe.

Oh, no shit?

That will be 80 euros. And you actually need to call a technician to fix that. I can’t help you.

It’s highway robbery, really. So I can understand how they do so well.

Last year when I started dating a plumber, I didn’t think much of it. People at home referred to him as Mario (ya know, because he’s Italian and a plumber like Super Mario), but my co-workers gave me the “you go girl” expression, like I’d just hit the jackpot. Actually, with all the things going awry in my rather shit apartment, I’m realizing it would have been quite valuable to have his free services at my fingertips…had he stuck around.

Politician: if you’re looking for a guy with money, look no further than your average Italian politician. The problem in Italy, and just one of the reasons why it’s so difficult to get ahead for this generation, is that there’s no middle class. People like politicians have an exorbitantly high salary and normal folk (myself included) are stuck making peanuts. Which would be fine if the cost of living in Italy was peanuts, but it’s not. Italy’s expensive. And Italian politicians are among some of the highest paid in Europe, beating out Austria, Germany and the UK.

Italian politician

So if you’re reading this and you’re a self proclaimed gold digger – also if you like drama, corruption and a good scandal – get your claws into one of these. They will probably go so far as to get you a job in Parliament if you’re so inclined.

Pizza maker: if you live in Italy, you all have one. He’s just as essential as having a fish guy, bread guy, butcher and fruits and vegetables guy. He’s the guy who saves you on a Monday night when it’s raining and you don’t want to trek it to the supermarket and cook dinner. Or when you’re one-eye-balling it home from too much fun and a fountain of cocktails, he’s there: old faithful, keeping the oven cranked and fired up till 3AM to cure you of your looming hangover.

pizza maker

If that isn’t potential love, I don’t know what is. If you haven’t given your pizzaiolo a second look, maybe you should. They have lousy hours, but they earn more than most middle class working folk. And they can give you what every girl fawns over: pizza.

Notaio: this one still blows my mind. Because I still have no friggin clue what this job actually is, or what we would even call it in America. It’s technically defined as a public officer who is present to sign off on official documents, mostly when you buy a house. So he’s a lawyer? Not really. When you buy a house, you must still employ the services of a lawyer but it is also mandatory to have a notaio present who “checks” the deed, the title, etc. So….a notary public?! My grandfather did that, he had a little stamp and everything. But he was no millionaire. Instead I’ve been told here in Italy that a notaio is one of the highest paid jobs and, surprise surprise, one of the hardest to get into. This much coveted position is something usually only passed down through the family. (Of course it is). So, if you manage to meet a notaio:

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Anyone with a contratto indeterminato: if we were in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, this would essentially be one of the golden tickets. Contracts are a big thing here. It was something I wasn’t used to talking about at home, because I don’t believe there’s a huge difference in contracts in America. They hire you, they hire you, that’s it. What we care about? How much you payin me? Here, the esteemed contratto indeterminato is the forever contract in laymen’s terms. It speaks to your importance in a company and gives you that much sought after job security. You wanna snag a guy with one of these. It’s the American equivalent of hooking a guy with a good benefits package. Policemen and firemen aren’t millionaires but they got that Blue Cross Blue Shield, something that seems to be a big selling point for level headed women in America (I should know, I enjoyed that $5 copay for many many years on my dad’s benefits. Go mom). If you’re an Italian guy with a contratto indeterminato, you are apparently a very very hot commodity among the ladies here, or those who want to settle down anyway. 

That’s all I have for now! Good luck out there and God speed!